The Spirit Lives On : Trooper Michael W. Haynes

One Year Later:  Montana Highway Patrol – End of Watch March 27, 2009

I suppose that we all have an impact on those around us, those whose lives brush up against ours through time. Whether it is through actions or reactions, words or deeds, we as friend, family, or foe can cause an action or reaction in those around us.  There are some in this world whose impact far surpasses the circle of family and friends; ones who have a message so strong and so profound that its reach is widespread and seeks out those outside their acquaintances.  These men and women have the ability by either chance or God's design to touch hearts and change lives.  Maybe it is by their example.  Or maybe it is by their direct interaction with those around them.  These special few are those who in some inexplicable way alter the path of another’s life, even those of complete strangers.  Michael Haynes was one of those men.

Trooper Michael Haynes was and is many things to many people.  He served his country with pride, courage, and honor.  He served the citizens of the great State of Montana as a proud member of the Montana Highway Patrol.  He was a husband, a father, a son, a brother, and a friend.  Today is the anniversary of the date that marked the end of Trooper Haynes' earthly watch and the beginning of a new tour of duty in a higher place.  On March 27, 2009, one year ago today, his body ceased to be all these things to those who knew and loved him.  There would be no more times to laugh and enjoy the company of his family while recalling old memories and making new ones playing video games, playing his bass, or out shooting with his dad.  There would be no more days that he would hug his children close to his chest as he marveled at the wonderful tiny people he was blessed to have in his life.  He wouldn’t have another chance to take his beloved wife in his arms and tell her just how much he loved her.  No longer would he patrol the highways of Montana in his quest to serve and protect the citizens that were entrusted to his care.  Never again would he be the one to lead the charge to curb the ever-growing numbers of those who feel that there is nothing wrong with putting the lives of every other man, woman, and child on the line when they drink then drive.  A generous, happy, loving, and honest man was taken away from his family and friends by one of those that he worked tirelessly to stop...a drunk driver.

But, while Trooper Haynes left this world in body, he did not leave it in spirit.  That spirit remains in the legacy he left behind.  His wife, Tawny, and their adorable children will forever carry him in their hearts.  The mother and father who brought him into this world as a gift from God will never be apart from the ever-lasting special love that only a child can give.  And the memories of growing up with that special bond that only exists between siblings will never fade for his brother and sister.  He did not get to complete his task here on earth, but his wife, his family, and his fellow officers will take up the battle for him.  They have and will continue to pick up and carry on that task in his absence.  His vision of a safe and better world can still be seen through the eyes of each of them as well as those of us who were lucky enough to learn and read about him through his friends and family.

The first time I learned of Trooper Haynes was in a breaking news alert from a station in Montana.  It was March 23, 2009.  I really just scanned the title and then closed the email. I was almost ready to delete it when I changed my mind and went back to it again.  For some reason, I clicked on the link and went to the station’s website.  I read the article and it upset me.  His name wasn’t even listed at first.  That came later.  I was little surprised that I felt so unsettled after reading about the crash.  I mean I didn't know this man.  But it bothered me.  At first there was no information about his condition.  I believe it might have been the next day that I checked again and it said "critical but stable".  I kept waiting for more information but it never came.  I checked the site several times that day but found nothing new.  I remember thinking that this was good.  We all know that good news doesn't typically sell.  And at that point I did not understand that the Montana stations were different from most in that they appear to go out of their way to present as many good news stories as bad ones.  So I thought, "Okay. No news. So he must be doing better. Probably won't hear anything else about him."  But, it just kept bothering me so the next day I checked again but really found nothing more.  I let a couple of more days go by.  I thought about it several times but decided I needed to stop checking on it so often.  And then I went back to check one more time.  The date was March 27th.  There was still nothing new there.  That confirmed it.  He was okay.  He would be fine and they wouldn't bother to report that.

I remember exactly what I was doing.  I was sitting at the desk and had closed the station’s website.  I opened Facebook and was there for maybe an hour at the most when I heard an email come in.  It was another breaking news alert.  I opened it without thinking about it.  And as soon as I did, I couldn't even move.  I couldn't open the site.  I couldn't close the email.  I just couldn't do anything...except cry.  I sat in that chair and cried for...I don't even know how long.  I cried for this man I did not know.  I cried for a family and friends I had never met.  I cannot tell you to this day, not even after a year of trying to figure it out, why the loss of one officer that I did not know, had never met and never even heard of before affected me in the way that it did.  It just broke my heart.  I will never forget it.  I will never forget him or the things I've learned about him as a Trooper and as a man from his family and friends.  And I will never forget his death telling me that I have a job to do.   I have to make people see.  I have to make them understand that there are men and women all across this nation who walk out the doors of their homes every single day to protect all of us.  They kiss their loved ones and they go do jobs that few in this world can do.  Every minute of their day is filled with danger.  The most routine call can turn deadly in the blink of an eye.  And a drunk driver behind the wheel can be traveling the wrong way on the wrong side of the highway heading straight into a deadly collision.

There are many things about the life of a peace officer that I somehow knew in that one minute of time.  I won't pretend to know what it's like to be an officer or be the wife or husband, son or daughter, brother or sister, father or mother of an officer.  My sister was a deputy.  My nephew is an officer.  But, I didn't get it.  I didn't understand before and sadly it is not through my love for them that I understand now.  It took the death of a good man I never got to meet to somehow make me understand at least a part of what they face in terms of a public that usually doesn't want them around unless they are the one that needs help.  And I know that the majority of those who do not spend their waking hours spewing hate and contempt for the very person who would be there to help them day or night are at best apathetic and stand idly by like it doesn't concern them.  It's my job, my place to do whatever I can do to change that.  One person, two...whether the number is small or the number is large...it is my task to try to make that happen.  The loss of Trooper Haynes somehow showed me that.  His death changed my life.

I know that there is not one second in time that he is not walking every step that Tawny walks as she carries on his fight in trying to raise awareness and gain support for toughening the laws for DUI offenders.  I know that he was standing at her side supporting her when she accepted the award on his behalf as he was recognized along with Trooper Glen Barcus for leading the Highway Patrol in DUI arrests the year before he was killed.  And I know that he has a special smile for her, his family, and his fellow officers who took over the watch for him and are fighting those battles today.  I sincerely hope with all my heart that when the day comes that I can stand in front of him, face to face, and finally get to shake his hand...I hope he smiles and I hope he says "Good job. You did well."


Trooper Haynes, you are missed terribly by those who love you and those who had the privilege to know you.  Thanks to Tawny and your dad I have had a very blessed opportunity to learn many things about you, how you lived your life and the man you became.  It is truly an honor.  And if I may say just one more thing… “Good job, sir. You did well.”

Written By: Peggy Gunn Milligan - Administrator of the Facebook Cause
~A Tribute To Those who Wear The Shield~

Journey of Courage: Deputy Christopher Dewey

It was February 18, 2009, one year ago today. In Mahnomen County, Minnesota a call came in. It was 4:00 A.M. and Deputy Christopher Dewey was ready to answer that call as Deputy Chad Peterson was ending his shift. But, they answered that call together with Deputy Peterson postponing the end of a long night to back-up his partner and his friend; brothers in blue wearing brown. It was a decision that saved a life. And the events that followed changed many more.

During the course of that call, Chris was viciously shot in the head and the abdomen then left for dead. But, he didn't die. Deputy Peterson heard the shots and could not contact Chris on the radio. He found him and made the call for help. He kept his head, he stayed calm, and he saved Chris' life. Those events and the ones that followed sent shockwaves through the Mahnomen County Sheriff's Office and the surrounding agencies and communities. The department is a family and Sheriff Doug Krier is the head of that household. In the months that have followed he has remained devoted to making sure Chris and Emily have anything they need that is in his power. The fellow deputies and dispatchers continue to make sure that Chris and Emily know that they haven't forgotten them. They, along with countless family and community members have worked tirelessly at various fundraisers to provide any assistance they can. The family gathered around the Dewey’s, virtually and literally. Not all of those family members have the same red blood running through their veins. Some of them have the blue blood of those who wear a shield, the brotherhood of the badge; a family nonetheless.

There are no words that I can offer that would tell what it was like for Emily to hear the call on their scanner of an officer down. She later stated in an interview that she knew immediately that it was Chris. I would not attempt to explain how that was for her. It isn't something that anyone could possibly understand or explain who has not experienced what she did. It takes someone very special to be a police spouse. Their role is a role like none others. They deal with and manage a life that most of us can try our best to comprehend, but if we have any real understanding...then what we understand the most, is that we can't truly realize what it's like if we haven't lived it. Every officer knows the risks. They all know what each day could bring and so do their families. That doesn't make it right that someone with evil in their heart can steal those minutes, hours, days, and months.

In the days that followed those shots being fired, miracles began to happen. Chris was alive. He was airlifted from the Mahnomen Hospital to MeritCare Hospital in Fargo, N.D. He spent a mere 5 days in intensive care and was then moved to acute care until March 5. From there he was sent to Craig Hospital in Englewood, Colorado for intense rehabilitative physical therapy. An already incredible story continued to be written with unbelievable progress.

The daily chronicles of the life Chris and Emily were forced into let their family and friends know the details of each day, but also began to draw others. Each day brought more and more visitors from all across the country to his CaringBridge site. We learned that Chris likes Spaghetti-O's and they make Emily go "Ewwww". His unique humor and way of looking at life came through Emily's words. His MacGyver-esque tendencies were in full evidence when he began trying to devise a way to unlock the belt that kept him in his wheelchair because he was sure he was ready to walk on his own. His response to one of the staff members that told him he was funny was classic. “I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.” Through it all we "watched" him grow stronger day by day. I don't mean to make light of those days. They were filled with hard work, a dogged determination and the steadfast faith and loyalty of Emily standing at his side. Then it happened. The complications began.

Chris was only supposed to stay two months at Craig Hospital. But, surgery to repair a leak in his sinus was required on March 31st at nearby Swedish Hospital. He began to recover well, and returned to rehab at Craig. One week after his sinus surgery, he had emergency surgery to repair a "bleed" that had developed. Shortly thereafter, he had two status seizures, and another surgery to repair a CSF leak. On June 19th he had a VP shunt placed. This failed on the 27th and was fixed surgically, but then failed the next day, leading to another surgery on the 28th. On July 29th Chris had a second shunt placed, and that was functioning well. Among other complications, Chris has had sepsis and meningitis. There have been other issues and additional surgeries as well. After each one, we witnessed a profound strength and ever-growing, steadfast faith in the young wife at his side. No one could read their journal entries and not be inspired by this young woman who had been thrust into the unknown without a road map. It wasn't long before Chris was dubbed "Superman Deputy Dewey" after a shirt emblazoned with that was given to him during one of the visits to Colorado by Sheriff Krier and Deputy Peterson. It was the most apt title they could have possibly bestowed upon him because everyone was continually amazed to watch Chris courageously battle back after each one of those bumps in the road. As would be expected, with each procedure, each set-back, it seemed to become more and more difficult to work his way back to his previous levels of accomplishments. But, he has never stopped working. He has never given up. He had at last begun talking again before the last surgery to place a new shunt. This one has once again proved to be another blow to his struggle to regain the progress he had made before. He has to date not found his voice again. But there's no doubt that he will. His is a determination seldom if ever witnessed before, most especially in one so young. The circumstances with which they have been forced to deal highlight a strength and belief in themselves, their family, and their God. Their faith has grown as the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months. Their journal became a place of inspiration for all who visited. There have been instances of those who weren't exactly "police-friendly" before but found themselves returning over and over again, in time finding a better understanding of what our officers do for us and a new-found respect for one of those men in specific and the law enforcement community as a whole. Others found their own faith being renewed and restored as they began a prayer chain that crisscrossed this country and circled the globe. The witnessing of the strong bond of their families, many of them putting their own lives and responsibilities on hold for days and weeks at a time to be in Colorado to offer their support, added another dimension to what "family" means.

And it continues today. Chris is still working and fighting. Emily is still loyal and faithfully at his side, working to be his advocate and make the best choices for him. The family is still standing strong around them. And no one has forgotten. His progress since the last surgery has been slow, but the grace of God, his own inner strength, and the power of prayer has brought him this far. He has a long way to go. His life was not taken that day, but the life he knew was taken away from him. They say, that when the Lord taketh away, he is not punishing us, but merely making room and preparing us for much bigger and better things. There is a reason that Chris is still with us. God has a purpose for those two young people. None of us knows what that is. Maybe a part of it is what they have already given to those whose lives they have touched over the last year. That is not for us to know. It's not our place. Ours is to continue that prayer chain for strength, guidance, healing, and patience. Ours is to trust that there is a higher power that carries both Chris and Emily through these times. And ours is to continue to give them the support that they need and to never forget, never let others forget that "A Brother In Brown Is Never Down".


Written By: Peggy Gunn Milligan - Administrator of the Facebook Cause
~A Tribute To Those who Wear The Shield~

The Thin Blue Line - Heartbeat of the World

Listen. Can you hear it? A heartbeat…it sounds like a single one, doesn't it? It isn’t. If that heartbeat was the heartbeat of one man or one woman, someday it would stop beating. But, it's not a single heartbeat. It is many hearts beating as one. That steady rhythm continues, always constant and never-ending. It knows no borders. It spans oceans and crosses mountains and deserts. It circles the globe in every direction...all those hearts beating as one. If one stops, the others keep beating, steady and strong. All those hearts that beat as one may be burdened and often are. The eyes that go with them often see many things that most of us never have to see. The ears hear an overabundance of things that most of us never have to hear. The brains have to process and register things under often dangerous and horrific conditions that would make most of us run in fear or cower in terror. The ones who carry those hearts inside of them all too often find themselves amidst chaos, violence, and death. They face circumstances that wound those hearts to the point that they’re bleeding inside and nobody knows because we can’t see the blood. And then they have to put those things away because they must go on; the heartbeat must go on. Those hearts often break, but that heartbeat that is made of many keeps beating.

That heartbeat is the heartbeat of the thin blue line, the men and women who stand ready to protect us every day and never hesitate to lay down their lives for ours. That single heartbeat that is made up of many is a heartbeat as strong as the steely resolve of the men and women who form that line. It is a line that is constantly tested, even more so today in a time when violence against them is on the rise. There are those who try to break that line by acts of outright murder of its members. Others try to undermine its strength by standing in front of TV cameras and pounding on podiums with their fists as they shout in supposed dismay and outrage terms like 'brutality' and 'racism'. And, if that line were made up of lesser men and women, there are circumstances that would weaken it by things like massive cut-backs, lay-offs, and lack of proper equipment. But that line is not made up of lesser men and women. That line does not break, it is not undermined, and it does not weaken. It can't. If it ever broke, we would be hostages in our own homes, afraid to venture out into a world ruled by chaos, crime, thieves, child molesters, and murderers. It cannot break. It will not break. And those who stand in that line know that. The men and women who rise each day and don a shield won't let it break. Even at a time when the ranks that make up the line are thinned and stretched to the breaking point by either a lack of funds or government mismanagement, those who remain along that line will not allow it to break. It stands strong and it stands true, fortified by the strength of men and women who fight for what is right and what is good around the world. Sometimes they have to fight the very ones they're trying to protect, but they keep fighting and that heartbeat stays strong.

They are the thin blue line. They are brothers and sisters. Their hearts beat as one. They are the heartbeat of the world.

Written By: Peggy Gunn Milligan - Administrator of the Facebook Cause
~ A Tribute To Those Who Wear The Shield ~